NON-FICTION., Uncategorized


PHOTO CREDIT: @kylebroad

Self-pity is an impulse I do not like to tolerate. Yet, many times, I find myself held strongly in its grip. If I should probe my memory for recollections of instances of self-pity, I’d find a lot of its scenarios lined up memory lane.

Sometimes, my lack of self love hits me hard like tons of brick but through the help of the Holy Spirit I have found how to deal with it and that’s what I’m about sharing.

Interestingly, it amazes and amuses me how several times I have relegated my beauty to the background and felt bad about my looks and in the same vain, I have admired the striking and intriguing smile God has graced my prettiness with.

I love how I look!

There are times I’ve felt so ugly, maybe because of some skin issues I had; during those times I felt like making use of my two hands as a covering for my face when I walk through the crowd. Yet, there are times I could not wait to launch out to my daily business because I thought that I looked so attractive. It’s quite funny, housing two paradoxical thoughts in the same mind. That underscores the complexity of the human mind.

Countless times, my intelligence and smartness put me in the world of wonder, but almost immediately, I bolt out of that wonder land and begin to feel strangely absurd for giving a so-dumb answer to a very cheap question. I then wonder if it were my intellectual mind that thought up such a foolish answer.

Sometimes, after several skills and talents of mine have proved to me how creatively intelligent God has made me, several bouts of failure hit me so hard that I begin to doubt God’s investment in me.

I’ve related all this to you so you’ll know that I am not an alien to the aforementioned topic.

Genesis 1:31a says

“And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.”

You see this verse I have just quoted, I have countless times made use of it in convincing myself that ‘Debbie, you are very good, not because of anything but because God said that’s who you are.’ And it has helped me a lot and it still helps me.

I’ll explain.
When God came to the climax of his creative venture, man had not yet manifested any wisdom, skill or intelligence, yet He said with all certainty and assuredness that everything he has created, including man VERY GOOD.

Let’s single out man out of ‘everything.’

Man had not been assigned any duty in the garden of eden;

man(Adam) never had a prior knowledge that life could be formed from him. He was oblivious of that potential of his.

Man never knew he had the innate and outstanding ability of giving names to the animals God had created. Yet, without man manifesting any skill whatsoever, God said man was very good.

My point is, you are very good and beautiful for just who you are; not because of what you’ve done or what you posses or how you look.

In fact the Bible says

“A man’s life consists not in the abundance of things which he possesses.” So you see, you are very good and beautiful Just for being you.

From Genesis 1:26 we understand that we were created in the image of God and just as God is good for being God, you are good for being you. I’ll have to add that man’s goodness was complete before the fall, but sin tampered with it.

How can we deal with self-pity and lack of self love then?

1.) You do not need the comment of anyone to ascertain the established fact that you are very good. God has said already and God’s word is final. All you need do is accept that fact and live by it.

I’ll love to add that your relationship with the Holy Spirit has a lot to do with this. As an Individual, I tell the Holy Spirit anything ‘tellable.’ So, after the Holy Spirit brought the truth to my understanding, slipping into self-pity and lack of self love, I usually have this guilt that drives me to apologize to Him for contradicting his word.

So In another light, I count self-pity and lack of self love a sin towards God. If you can also view it in this light after having understood the aforementioned truth, you are good to go.

2.) Learn to give accolades to those who worth it.

First, understand that God knew his goodness. He knew man was created from him, therefore passing such uplifting comment to his creation and to man did not in anyway reduced his goodness.

Mark 12:31; says

…’Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself…’

But, come to think of it, how can you know how to love your neighbour if you don’t love yourself?

You have to accept that you are good; you have to love yourself first, and then be ready to pass uplifting and ‘factly’ comments to others.

Let’s recall the event that played out when eve was formed.

Genesis 2:23;

“At last!” Adam exclaimed. “She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called `woman,’ because she was taken out of a man.” (NLT).

Adam must have felt so good, and also, learnt from God who gave out that sweet comment to the hearing of all creation, including Adam. Therefore, Adam could not help but say the above mentioned to Eve. Little wonder, ladies/women love flowery comments to be showered on them. That was the first thing they heard when they were created.

The bottom line, learn from your first Father, Adam, Give uplifting comments.

Genesis 1:31a

‘And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.’

You are very good!
I am very good!
We are very good!

That’s whom I am!
That’s whom you are!
That’s whom we are!


How have you been able to overcome self pity and lack of self love? I’m eager to learn from you using the comment session below!


  1. God pls help me,,, I’ve been struggling and fighting with this too for a very long time and it has so affected my self confidence, relationship wit God and make me want to believe I am below what God want for me or from me,,,hmm more grace to you sir debby

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hmmm! My dear, the society has made us to believe that we have to achieve something outstanding in order to measure our worth. But from Genesis 1:31, we see that man had not yet manifested any skill before God declared all His creation as ‘very good.’ Also, difficult situations in life might come to prove to us that we aren’t good in ourselves. Whatever the case might be we most continue to hold on to God’s word and be assured that whatever comes our way, nothing can change the bounties of God in our lives.
      Thanks so much for stopping by!
      God bless you, dear.


  2. Awesome post!
    I personally believe that this is the first cause of depression and subsequent suicide option.

    Lack of self-love would make one give in to depression as a result of building pressures from the society.

    These days, it’s others that basically determine what we wear, how we look, how successful we are, etc. Many of us have lost ourselves in this crazy cat race.

    Not that I’m applauding mediocrity and laxity, nope. Not at all. But many times, in our pursuit to measure up, to look nicer and more acceptable to the world, we build up unnecessary stress. This costs us everything on the long run – we loose ourselves, our voice and our uniqueness.

    And when some are tired of this, when life gives them harder task and they failed to measure up (in their own understanding, to what they believe some others are demanding or expecting, as it may be, from them), they give up – only resulting to suicide.

    How I wish every youngster see this to read and understand. How I wish they know that they owe their own happiness and goodness. And not till when someone commended their beauty or ugliness. How I wish they would know that God has made them perfect and they should just live like one perfect being, not necessarily in deeds or words, but in loving themselves and living self-given peace.

    Maybe they would stop going extra ways just to impress others. Maybe they would be satisfied with what they have. Maybe the world would experience less suicide committed by undergraduates and young lives.

    May God help all of us to love ourselves as he loves us. And then, we can love our neighbours as ourselves.

    Thanks very much for this post. It was timely.

    Liked by 2 people

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